As part of the growing Boss Talk Community, we are introducing you to women who inspire, amaze and impress us. Each Boss Spotlight features women from all walks of life and experiences. We enjoy shining the spotlight on them and hope you enjoy getting to know them!
This spotlight is on Mary Reaves, the Director of Programs and co-founder of Beginnings SC.
Tell us about yourself!
“I met my co-founder while in the midst of cancer treatment at the age of 29. That journey, while short, was wild and has certainly helped form the person I am now. I spent many years on a winding road to determine what I wanted to be when I grew up and fighting cancer was certainly not part of the plan but I would not be where I am without that experience and struggle. I am now nearly 15 years in remission and a mom of 3 kids who like to keep me on my toes.
I am often asked about starting a nonprofit from scratch and mostly I yell “Don’t do it!” and laugh but then as soon as I talk about the journey and excitement and the myriad new skills and talents I have learned as a result, I realize I probably just talked the person into doing just that. One has to wear many hats when starting something from nothing and I am immensely thankful for my partner in crime to share all these hats. I have found many I like and many others I’d happily never wear again but we’ve grown an amazing organization that serves families all over the state and we have watched positive change happen in agencies, organizations, and systems as a result.
I believe in the power of people and in giving them the information and tools they might not have been able to find and then watching them do their thing. I am learning right alongside the families we serve and it is the most wonderful career I could ever imagine.”
What does being “authentically you” mean to you?
“Hmm, what *does* being “authentically me” mean to me…that’s an interesting question! I spent many years hearing that the parts of myself that I found most easy to be – chatty, engaging, curious – were not always viewed as positive by others. I have always found it easy to chat with strangers or engage in a discussion that is hard or uncomfortable; that seemed a natural instinct to me and was something I enjoyed. However, as a teen and college student, I would hear that I talked too much or asked too many questions. While I have certainly learned the art of knowing when to listen and when to talk, I have landed comfortably in my skin as a curious extrovert who is comfortable asking the hard questions and pushing the boundaries of what is “always done” to ask “but is it working for everyone?”
I am a life-long learner who believes my most authentic self is not being afraid to ask hard questions, acknowledge when I am wrong, and always, always be kinder than necessary. ‘Authentically me’ means embracing the best parts of myself to closely examine those parts of myself that can use some work.”
What is the best advice you’ve received and what is the best advice you have for other women?
“Hands down, the best advice I ever received was from Dr. Kerry Lachance while in graduate school at UofSC School of Medicine. She told me, as I was falling apart on her office floor after letting her know I’d be taking time off from grad school due to a cancer diagnosis, that “life is what happens when you are busy making plans.” I have reminded myself of that advice hundreds of times since then and even though my friends like to lovingly call me “plan-averse,” I recall that advice as a guiding force in learning to adapt.
I think aside from offering that to others, I would refer to my response about being authentically you: don’t be afraid to be who you are! Strive to embrace those parts of yourself that you love and if you have other parts of yourself you want to work on, give yourself grace while doing so. You are worth it and brave and you deserve to be your fullest self, even if it takes you a minute to get there.”
What are you reading, listening to or watching right now that you are loving?
“I am rarely just reading one book so current reads are: Afterlife by Julia Alvarez and listening to Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski (thanks to a recommendation by another powerful #GirlBoss). I am also currently devouring the new series “High on the Hog” on Netflix because this Southern girl loves some red rice and learning about food and its rich, troubled, and complicated history.”
Mary Reaves is the Director of Programs and co-founder of Beginnings SC, an organization that serves children who are deaf and hard of hearing by providing resources and support for families and providers. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook at @maryj138 and @MJreaves.
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