I was in elementary school the first time I was told that I’m bossy. The definition of bossy is “inclined to domineer” so I’m not sure how it makes sense to tell an eight year old little girl she’s being bossy, but that’s what I was told.
As I grew up, “bossy” became aggressive.
The word carries so many connotations when directed towards a girl, and frankly, none of them are good. If you Google the word aggressive, this is what comes up: “ready or likely to attack or confront; characterized by or resulting from aggression.”
“Domineering” and “likely to attack….” In my opinion, that’s not a very pleasant description of someone.
Have you ever heard a boy described as bossy? I haven’t. Click this link and look at the examples given for the word bossy: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/bossy Almost all of them pertain to girls.
I am loud, opinionated, upfront, confident, and independent. I have been that way my entire life, and for my entire life, I’ve been surrounded by boys who are the same way, but were never called bossy or aggressive by adults or peers. They were praised for these traits while I was made to feel they’re unappealing and wrong.
You see this all the time: AOC is bitchy. Megan Rapinoe is too much. Amy Shumer isn’t funny. Megan Markle is faking it. Simone Biles is weak. Hillary Clinton is shrill. Kamala Harris is too defensive. Oprah is too nosey. However, their male counterparts in their respective fields are rarely described so negatively – they’re simply successful and applauded for the things that make them stand out.
Why is this? Why can boys speak their minds but when we do, we’re aggressive, domineering, too much? Why can boys call the shots, but when we do, we’re bossy and bitchy?
The reality is simple. Strong women are not perceived the same way as strong men.
It’s 2021. The feminist movement started over a century ago. That’s 100 years where we’ve had the chance to remove this type of blatant sexism from our society and we simply…haven’t.
Society still falls into old habits of telling girls from a young age that being outspoken is a bad thing, that being knowledgeable about something is wrong. That being a leader isn’t for women. Leadership, intelligence, strength, and confidence, when evident in a girl or woman, are still, in 2021, construed to mean bossy and aggressive.
It’s past time to change the narrative: she’s not bossy, she’s strong and she’s a leader. She’s not aggressive, she’s passionate, driven, and confident. She’s not bitchy, she’s honest, authentic, and outspoken. She’s not too emotional, she is capable of expressing emotion in a healthy way.
It’s also time to create a society that allows women to grow without interference. That is something Boss Talk and North are passionately investing in and we hope more will join us in this mission by sharing your story, lifting up fellow women leaders, and supporting women-owned businesses.
Teach your daughters to speak their minds and put themselves out there, and teach your sons to do the same and to support strong girls and all the women in their lives. Don’t call a girl bossy. Praise her confidence and encourage her to continue on the path she’s on, confidentially and passionately. Only then will we have put bossy on the shelf where it belongs and instead create a generation of bosses.
– #TheMarketingMaven
