I’m conflicted.
Boss. Boss Lady. I think of myself as the first, but I also respond to the latter and even use that as my social media handle. I have all the titles on coffee mugs, water bottles, door signs, plaques, and books. I have all kinds of swag around my office that colleagues, staff, friends, and family have given me over the years with different versions of the moniker: Boss,The Boss, Boss Lady, Girl Boss. I even have a name plate from one of my oldest friends that says, “I’m CEO, bitch.”
I have never been one for titles, but at the same time, there are certain sacrifices that have been made over the years that give value and significance to the title of “Boss” for me, and it’s a reminder of the work that has gone into earning that title.
However, I was recently challenged on whether it watered down the “Boss” title for women by adding “girl” or “lady” to the title? Has “Boss Lady” really just become an unnecessary label reinforcing the sexism and minority oppression that female leaders have worked against for centuries, and that has existed in the American workplace for far too long?
If it’s put that way, I think I will be scratching “Boss Lady” from everything immediately.
Four years ago, when I decided I would get “Boss” tattooed prominently on my wrist in my own big, loopy handwriting, I didn’t think about putting “Boss Lady,” I knew it was simply going to say “Boss.”
The tattoo was inspired by a hat that #MoxieMegs and another friend gave to me. The baseball hat simply has “Boss” written on it. Not “Boss Lady” or “Girl Boss,” or anything like that. Just “Boss.” I wore it all the time and when I wore it, I felt powerful and was reminded of all the work I have and continue to put into my life and our company. Everything I did I wanted to do like a Boss, even on the days I didn’t have the energy to wash my hair and do my makeup (that’s really when the boss ball cap came in handy!).
The hat reminded me that people respect my hustle, respect that I have sacrificed things to become a boss and that I continue doing so every day to live up to the moniker.
It also reminded me that some people (typically men) needed to be reminded on occasion of those very facts. I even found myself needing that reminder from time to time.
I couldn’t wear a baseball hat to professional meetings — well I could, but I like to be a little fancier than that and besides, heels are my power accessory.
I could, however, tattoo it on the outside of the wrist of my right hand in a way that was very visible, especially for someone who uses her hands to gesticulate quite often.
So I thought about it. I thought about what a good reminder it would be for me but also waffled a bit when I thought about how it might be perceived by others (again, mostly men) in the business and political world I worked in. And while I thought about adding “lady,” in the end, one thing felt right.
One word felt authentic to the person I had busted my ass to become and the reminder I wanted to have whenever I looked down, whether sitting at the negotiating table or sitting on a beach sipping a frosty beverage staring at the ocean in retirement knowing I had handed the keys over to some other bosses.
Boss.
I didn’t need to clarify what kind of boss or soften it for anyone – which is what I think “Girl Boss”, “Boss Lady,” etc. does – or clarify the kind of boss I was. If you’re any good at it, a boss is a boss is a boss.
Rarely do we say “boss man” when talking about men in leadership positions. It’s typically “He’s the boss.” You might hear it on occasion, but more times than not, men have no problem simply claiming “Boss.”
I identify as a lady in life, yes – but I also identify as a Boss, and if we’re being honest, very little lady comes out when I’m being boss Allison.
So if we really want to level the playing field, shatter that ceiling, stop the sexism, and empower ourselves to continue carving our path to equality in all things for women, I think we have to stop being afraid to own who we are without apologizing for it by tacking on a lady or girl or gal or boss bitch to make others feel more comfortable with women being given a strong title.
It’s 2021. A boss is a boss is a boss. You’ll know one when you see one, and if you’re a boss in your own right, you don’t need to categorize what kind of boss.
– #BossNorth formerly #BossLadyNorth
