On curiosity, courage and holding your ground.
I have always been a communicator. I’ve often joked that I was born talking — and, more specifically, asking questions.
That’s still true. Ask anyone who has sat next to me at a dinner party. Or ask my younger brother, who reminds me, usually with annoyance because I’ve asked yet another question, “You’ve always been nosey.”
My parents called it inquisitive. They nurtured it and never stopped encouraging me to use that curiosity for empowerment. I was the kid who always wanted to know why. Why does it work that way? Who decided that? What aren’t you telling me?
The probing questions were never discouraged — except when they interrupted my father’s favorite television program and I was told to be quiet and wait for the plot to unfold. Unfortunately, patience and curiosity have never been on speaking terms.
That curiosity led me to journalism, where I could ask all the questions I wanted and had a front-row seat to history. I loved that seat. But over time, I realized I didn’t just want to watch the story unfold. I wanted to help shape it.
It’s likely what led me to the work I do now, helping people and organizations find their story and tell it well. The combination of curiosity about the story and a desire to shape it is why my guiding principle over the last decade has been to come from a place of yes.
Funny thing is, I’d forgotten I ever said it out loud, in a 2016 newspaper interview. Ten years later, facing an unexpected but long-overdue career pivot, I found my way back to those exact words, and named a podcast after them: Place of Yes. I said it then, and it’s held up, because I believe it and live it now more than ever.
“Come from a place of yes and don’t take no for an answer. It’s not about being aggressive; it’s about being open.”
What a place of yes really means
Let me be clear about what it isn’t. It isn’t saying yes to everything. It isn’t people-pleasing, and it definitely isn’t naivete. And “don’t take no for an answer” was never about bulldozing anyone, and trust me, some will try and tell you that’s what I mean or that’s what I’m about, but they are the ones who truly don’t get it or more aptly are threatened by the approach.
What it is about is being open.
Coming from a place of yes means starting with possibility instead of fear. It means walking into a room assuming there’s a way forward and doing the work to find it. It means betting on yourself when there are safer choices.
A decade ago, a newspaper profile called my move from journalism to public relations a fearless leap. I didn’t feel fearless at the time. It felt scary and unclear, but it also felt like I was supposed to do something else. Call it my relentless curiosity, but there was something more I was supposed to be doing. There were rooms I was supposed to be in and conversations I was supposed to be part of (or wanted to be part of) that I was only going to get to if I said yes. So, I took the leap.
I’d learned something from the frontlines as a journalist: the people who move things forward aren’t the ones who never feel fear. They’re the ones who say yes anyway and then figure out how to navigate that fear and still achieve their goals.
I’ll be the first to tell you that none of my professional or personal milestones were planned the way some people plan their lives. They were all born out of curiosity and openness to “what if I just say yes,” despite the fear and despite the relentless questions in my head. (If the outside world thinks I ask a lot of questions, you have no idea how many I ask myself 24/7.)
But I keep saying yes. And when I hear “no,” I instantly start working to turn that no into a yes. It might not be the exact yes I originally envisioned. It might be a compromise everyone has to adapt to along the way. But it’s still a path forward, and that’s what matters.
Unflinching in the toughest rooms
Here’s the part nobody puts on the inspirational poster. Saying yes gets you into rooms. Staying in them takes something else.
I’ve spent my career in some of the toughest rooms there are. Rooms full of lawyers who bill by the hour and argue for sport. CEOs who are used to being the smartest person at the table and often are. Boards weighing decisions that will outlast everyone sitting around them. Politicians who can read a room faster than you can walk into it.
In those rooms, you don’t get points for being nice. You get points for being right, being prepared and being clear. Sometimes you’re the only one willing to say the thing everyone is thinking. Sometimes you’re the only woman at the table. Sometimes you’re both.
Unflinching doesn’t mean unkind, and it doesn’t mean loud. It means you know your facts, you know your values, and you don’t fold when the pressure rises. You can disagree with the most powerful person in the room and still be the one they call the next time things go sideways.
A place of yes is what gets you through the door. Unflinching is what earns you a seat at the table.
Still saying yes
Ten years after that interview, I know a lot more than I did then. But I’m still the nosy girl asking why, still open, and still not taking no for an answer. I still believe in betting on yourself. And I still think the most powerful thing you can bring into any room is a clear sense of who you are and what you stand for.
That’s what I try to give the leaders and organizations I work with: the courage to say yes to what’s next, the clarity to stay unflinching when it gets hard, and the steadiness to stay true to themselves through it all.
The path to yes is different for everyone. The key is knowing there’s always a path. The secret is knowing the road may take twists and turns you never expected. How you navigate them is how you find the yes you were meant to find. Mine has had plenty of detours. I wouldn’t trade a single one.
North is a strategic communications firm that brings a journalist’s instinct for the story together with a strategist’s understanding of the stakes. North advises leaders and organizations across five connected practices: Strategy & Leadership, Storytelling & Positioning, Media Strategy & Relations, Reputation, Issues & Crisis, and Public Affairs & Advocacy. The moments that matter rarely stay in one lane. Neither do we. Let’s talk.
